Struggle: Prologue
by Imaginary-Chilly
Summary: Kathryn Dursley was a normal girl who lived in a very normal neighbourhood with a very very normal family. But she never was a normal girl. Now she must attend Hogwarts, against her will. But she'll do anything to stop that from happening. Even if it means stopping her heart. Please read and review. Don't own image.


**Struggle**

Kathryn closed her eyes tightly as her heart clenched even tighter. Her stomach turned and her mouth tasted vile. Her head ached, pounding in the back of her skull. She tried to breathe. She tried to stay calm and feel nothing. Tears pricked at her eyes. She felt so heavy. She felt like there were weights holding her down and kept pulling her down. She gapped for a breath, just one. She tried to take in air, and she shook violently as it went out. Her lips chapped and bitten. They were almost as pale as her.

Her father's words ringed in her ears. Her mother's heavy sobs and then her horrible silence. Her brother's heavy footsteps pounding away, running away, from her. And Harry with his " It'll be all right." Kathryn clasped her hands over her ears. She tried to block them all up. But she could still hear every one of them. Trapped inside her. She wanted them out. She wanted all of it out. But she was caught in heavy, cold chains and couldn't find the lock. She could try to scratch her way out. She could try to shrink her way out. Nothing ever worked though.

The girl fell forward. Kathryn grabbed hold of the counter, holding herself up with shaking arms. It felt draining. Her arms hurt. Her body hurt. She felt like she was collapsing in on herself.

She could hear her mother downstairs now. She was cleaning the kitchen, again. Kathryn's mother did that so much now. Nearly everyday, another room scrubbed down till it gleamed. As if it would scrub all the- the- the _magic _away. Kathryn wished so badly that it would. That her mother could take it all away. Make it all go away.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. They fell slowly, then rapidly as her mouth opened in pure agony. Her body arched, her head going back as a sob managed to break free. Kathryn rocked back and forth, shaking, twitching. She felt like she was losing control of her own body. She felt like she was going down, down, down. And she wanted it to stop.

Stop.

Stop.

STOP!

Kathryn jumped from the sink. She jumped around, grabbing at her hair and flailing out. Only slowly did she stop, twitching, crouching down to the ground and getting up to suddenly move agitatedly. She inched back to the sink, still flinching and cringing, till she could stand there and look into the mirror. Dull, dark cobalt blue eyes. There was bruising under them, a great contrast to her sickly pale skin. Her body is too thin, her hair wild and slightly greasy. She doesn't like how her hair makes her look like some mangy mutt. She fumbles, trembling as she searches the drawers for a hair tie. They slam back into the cabinet till she finds one. Her mouth twitches erratically, as if to smile but it can hardly make that shape anymore. Her bony fingers fidget with the hair tie, fighting to pull on it and get her hair together. She watches the person in the mirror mimic her. They're wild-eyed with their mouth hanging open for flies to catch and rib cage pressing through as they lean back. Kathryn fights with the hair tie till all her hair is in a bun. Strands fall out hazardously but she doesn't care. She doesn't care. She doesn't.

A clink around her neck reminds her of the chain sitting around it. The chain is rather long, the pendant hanging just above her belly button. It's a locket. She got last year, the big one-o, first double digits. She had been ever so pleased. Her daddy had gotten it for her. It had her name engraved on the back and a family photo inside the little heart shape. Kathryn takes it in her hands. They fold around it in a fist, as if ready to just yank it off. Break the chain. But she can't. She wants to cry but she's too tired. She's exhausted. She just wants to sleep, but no one would ever let her. Not her daddy or her mummy, her brother or her cousin, or herself.

Kathryn wants it to end.

She wants it to end.

The girl crouches down to the cabinet beneath the counter. Inside are extra towels, a basket of shampoos, conditioners, soaps, and a box of cheap razors. She grabs them, razors falling out of the package as she brings them to her chest. She stares down at them with wide eyes. Her breathing is heavy. Her mind is flickering in and out. Kathryn grabs one. She grips it with familiarity. She moves to the bathtub. Water comes shooting down from the faucet. She gets in, shaking as the water slurps around her.

Kathryn slips off the safety protector. She runs her thumb over the blades. It pricks her thumb. There isn't much to cut through. A drop of blood blooms out of the cut. She doesn't notice how hard she's really shaking. Kathryn can only see the blade coming down to her wrist. She can only see the blossoming roses and the jolts running through her body. She sees the darkness as she clenches her eyes tight and rolls her head back.

"KATHRYN!"  
**-**

**Redone. Advice is helpful. Please review.**


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